I’m not new to destructive redneck behavior. After all, I did grow up in Lodi, California, a town know for crazy, white trash idiots, and for being the inspiration for the Creedence Clearwater Revival song “Lodi (is Full of Crazy, White Trash Idiots)”. But a yard sale I saw Friday in sophisticated Culver City really took the hillbilly cake.
Some of the unsurprisingly insane things at this bazaar included:
- The man conducting all business shirtless
- His lady friend complaining as she scratched off “the worst lotto tickets in my life”
- The trailer they likely live out off
- The “yard” of said yard sale being in the parking lot of a medical marijuana dispensary
- While demonstrating the power of an aluminum bat, the gentleman hit a softball onto the freeway
Lesson learned: Instead of screening Major League players for steroids, we need to start testing them for bathtub moonshine.
Or that I met the designated hitter
for the next MLB expansion team
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