Thoughts on Super Bowl Ads, By an Eastern European

For my first post of the year, I decided to enlist the help of my roommate, Vladam. For those of you who don't know him, Vladam is from Livonia, a tiny European country which was the final member of the Eastern Bloc to end Communist rule last April. Since then, Livonia has peacefully transitioned into a democratically run landfill.

The Livonia Presidential Palace/Cardboard Heap

To help him assimilate to American culture, Vladam and I watched the most popular commercials from this years Super Bowl, and I asked for his take on them.

Ram Trucks - "God Made a Farmer"

Vladam's first impression, upon hearing the low quality audio and old farm photos, was that the commercial was from something called the Government Commune Directorate. When I told him that no such agency exists in the U.S., and it was really for pick-up trucks, he asked, "You mean is for bus for Mexicans, no? Why no Mexicans in television Polaroids?" I have to admit, he had a good point.

Budweiser - Clydesdale

Things got a bit awkward during this commercial when Vladam started crying.

"It reminds me of my horse, Peter Capitalism-Stomper. We must see this film, yeah? I am most fond of love stories." I expected him to be upset when I told him it was an ad for beer, but he happily exclaimed, "Americans venerate horses and beer too? We did win Cold War!"

Taco Bell - "Viva Young"

Vladam: "How did Mexican food scientists perfect technology to invigorate elderly so quickly? Cocoon only arrived in Livonian cinema houses this year!"

Got Milk? - "Morning Run"

When Vladam asked me what happened in this spot, I didn't know how to explain it. I still don't know how. Seriously, how would you explain this to somebody, let alone somebody from a foreign culture? I don't think Vladam would believe me if I told him that in America there are huge ad campaigns for milk, and this is a typical example.

GoDaddy.com - "Big Kiss"

I spent 20 minutes trying to convince Vladam that Go Daddy is a web hosting company, and not an escort service. He didn't believe me, and spent another 20 minutes on GoDaddy.com searching for Bar Refaeli's phone number.

Kia - "Space Babies"

Vladam was pretty let down after the Go Daddy incident, so I didn't have the heart to tell him this Kia commercial wasn't, as he thought, for a History Channel documentary on his country's space program. Apparently, the Livonian people are extremely proud of being the first nation to have sent a bear and a human infant into orbit.