For my first post of the year, I decided to enlist the help
of my roommate, Vladam. For those of you who don't know him, Vladam is from Livonia , a tiny European country
which was the final member of the Eastern Bloc to end Communist rule last
April. Since then, Livonia
has peacefully transitioned into a democratically run landfill.
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The Livonia Presidential Palace/Cardboard Heap |
To help him
assimilate to American culture, Vladam and I watched the most popular
commercials from this years Super Bowl, and I asked for his take on them.
Ram Trucks - "God Made a Farmer"
Vladam's first impression, upon hearing the low quality
audio and old farm photos, was that the commercial was from something called
the Government Commune Directorate. When I told him that no such agency exists
in the U.S. ,
and it was really for pick-up trucks, he asked, "You mean is for bus for
Mexicans, no? Why no Mexicans in television Polaroids?" I have to admit,
he had a good point.
Budweiser - Clydesdale
Things got a bit awkward during this commercial when Vladam
started crying.
"It reminds me of my horse, Peter Capitalism-Stomper.
We must see this film, yeah? I am most fond of love stories." I expected
him to be upset when I told him it was an ad for beer, but he happily
exclaimed, "Americans venerate horses and beer too? We did win Cold
War!"
Taco Bell
- "Viva Young"
Vladam: "How did Mexican food scientists perfect
technology to invigorate elderly so quickly? Cocoon only arrived in Livonian cinema houses this year!"
Got Milk? - "Morning Run"
When Vladam asked me what happened in this spot, I didn't
know how to explain it. I still don't know how. Seriously, how would you
explain this to somebody, let alone somebody from a foreign culture? I don't
think Vladam would believe me if I told him that in America there are huge ad campaigns
for milk, and this is a typical example.
GoDaddy.com - "Big Kiss"
I spent 20 minutes trying to convince Vladam that Go Daddy
is a web hosting company, and not an escort service. He didn't believe me, and
spent another 20 minutes on GoDaddy.com searching for Bar Refaeli's phone
number.
Kia - "Space Babies"
Vladam was pretty let down after the Go Daddy incident, so I
didn't have the heart to tell him this Kia commercial wasn't, as he thought,
for a History Channel documentary on his country's space program. Apparently, the
Livonian people are extremely proud of being the first nation to have sent a
bear and a human infant into orbit.